The Iron that has Sharpened Me / My Fuzziness

In response to Matt’s post I wanted to recognize and thank all of you who have been my best friends these past 4 or so years. I really love you guys and it’s no secret that I’m going to miss all of you a lot.

I wanted to recognize Matt and Colin in particular for the ways they have been my friend in the past 4 or so months. It’s no secret that I’ve had somewhat of a tough time recently, and no one has really been there for me in quite the same way as these two men. In times of joy and in times of some of the toughest sorrow you guys have always had an open ear and were willing to continue to advise, challenge and encourage me in all of my hurt and struggle. You have really been Jesus to me. I don’t know how tough things would have been without these two men of God in my life, but I do know that I’m glad I’ll never have to find out. You two are both people I feel like I could wake up at 2 in the morning to talk to if I really needed to.

All of us are moving into different chapters of our lives, and it seems like most of us are only certain about where we think we should be for the next year or two, and after that it gets a lot fuzzier. I think that’s one of the most important functions of this blog. It’s going to enable us to share in each other’s fuzziness so that we might laugh and cry and dance and mourn with one another, even when we are in different cities, states or countries.

I think most of you know that I don’t feel particularly at home in my current software consulting job. Matt tells me I’m going to be a seminary professor one day, and Colin and I have talked about starting a church one day (of course all of you would be asked to be a part of that. possible name: The Witless Brevity Church? I think it’s golden…) and I think either or both of those would be things I would be really excited to devote my life to, as opposed to making the software of really big companies better. With that in mind, I feel like God is calling me in that direction, but I just don’t know what should happen now. This is my fuzziness and my continual struggle. For the first time in awhile I actually feel like I have some solid direction in my life (ministry) but I still don’t really know what the next step is.

I guess I should learn how to trust God or something.