Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Greet the Brothers with a Holy Kiss

I was reading in Exodus today, and Moses hadn't seen his brother Aaron in awhile, and when he finally was reunited with him he kissed him. In Acts 20 the Ephesian elders have a big group hug and they all literally kiss Paul goodbye. Men kiss each other all the time in the Bible. We're weirded out by this in our culture, or at least I am.

Today I saw that new Will Smith movie (The Pursuit of Happyness) and I admit I was slightly weirded out by Will Smith's character kissing his son. That sucks because I want to be the kind of dad who can experience this kind of intimacy with his son. This sort of thing probably comes at least partially from my relationship to my own father, whom I am very close with and I love him dearly, but I’ve noticed lately that there seems to permanently be distance between us in some places.

How do I overcome that gap, both for my father and I right now and potentially for my son and I one day? I also wonder how this sort of thing touches my relationships with you fine gentlemen. Where do I feel distant? How can we overcome this?

I’m not saying that we should start kissing, but how can I become the type of person who is more comfortable with appropriate levels of intimacy, regardless of cultural norms or expectations?

4 comments:

Cabe said...

there were a lot of question marks in there. i'm not expecting easy answers, but i would be interested in some dialogue. what are your thoughts?

the_andude said...

Well, granted, I don't think that we're ever going to get to a point in society again where it is the cultural norm to kiss men in greeting (even in Europe it has moved to the cheek). But, I think that by the time you have a child, the inherant intimacy that comes with parenthood (both in conception and in raising the child) will lead to the intimacy that you are willing to have with the child. I kissed my father growing up, but I grew out of it, not my father. Harry, on the other hand, still kisses his father on the cheek. Maybe that has to do with siblings. I don't have any sisters, and Harry has two. I know that doesn't work in every case (รก la Cabe), but if Harry saw his sisters kiss his father, he might have thought it the norm. Hope this helps.

the_andude said...

Cabe, I was also looking up your apt. on Google Earth. You're only about an inch from the Experience Music Project! That's awesome. I definitely need to come visit for Spring Break.

the_andude said...

Happy New Year WitBrev. Kisses for all.