Selling out...

Jeremy Grey: ...What do you like better, Christmas or Wedding season? (Jeremy raises hand)

John: Mister Grey.

Jeremy: Yes, um...the answer would be um...wedding season?

John: Bingo...

****

In America, we like to gauge how old we are by how many birthdays we have seen. I think a much more accurate picture of your age is how many of your friend's weddings you have been to. And by this principle, I'm going to be three times older at the end of this month. During this month, I have the privilege of attending two weddings, and as of right now; it's one down and one to go. I've been told on numerous occasions that marriage is the most accurate metaphor we have for our relationship with God and because of that, weddings are supposed to be something beautiful.

Last Saturday, I attended my second real wedding. I was a friend of the bride and had known her for pretty much my whole life. We grew up in church together, and so many of our old church friends were at the wedding. It was wonderful and heart wrenching seeing old friends, because you get to see what they have become. But at the same time, you wonder if you will ever see these people again.

Since late in my college life, I have never been a guy that was concerned about whether they were ever going to get married. It seemed like most of my friends were much more concerned about this marriage thing I was, and I liked it that way. It's easier to be content and not feel insecure. Unfortunately, it was at this particular wedding that I started to get these scared, insecure, and "XX chromosome feelings." Maybe it was the realization that many of my not-witless-brevity-friends are in long-term relationships and/or engaged. Or maybe it was all of my mom's friends asking me whether I have a girlfriend or when I'm going to get married. Or maybe it was because I’m getting old. Or it could just be at weddings you get to see how incredibly beautiful it is when two people can commit themselves to each other forever.

Whatever it is, I did have these feelings. And I think I can finally empathize with the rest of my guy friends, and the whole girl population. Furthermore, I think finally realize why people want marriage. It's not the fear of dying alone, or even sex that brings us into marriage. It is idea behind marriage that makes us want it so badly. We do this marriage thing because of a tad bit of naivety and a whole lot of hope. We should know full well coming into marriage that we can’t come anywhere even close to God’s love and commitment, but yet we try. That, maybe, through our stupidity and his grace, his glory will be shown. And that maybe through the small fraction of beauty and goodness that flickers throughout a marriage, we can see a tiny proportion of God’s love, glory, grace, and beauty. Marriage really can be as beautiful as people say it should be.

Since that wedding, I don't think I will ever look at marriage with apathy again. It will instead strike anticipation, fear, and hope that perhaps sometime in the FAR distant future God will gracefully place someone in my life where I'll be able commit myself to her much like how God committed himself to me.

And then, I might better understand how beautiful and amazing that metaphor really is and praise him even more.

Matt