Greet the Brothers with a Holy Kiss

I was reading in Exodus today, and Moses hadn't seen his brother Aaron in awhile, and when he finally was reunited with him he kissed him. In Acts 20 the Ephesian elders have a big group hug and they all literally kiss Paul goodbye. Men kiss each other all the time in the Bible. We're weirded out by this in our culture, or at least I am.

Today I saw that new Will Smith movie (The Pursuit of Happyness) and I admit I was slightly weirded out by Will Smith's character kissing his son. That sucks because I want to be the kind of dad who can experience this kind of intimacy with his son. This sort of thing probably comes at least partially from my relationship to my own father, whom I am very close with and I love him dearly, but I’ve noticed lately that there seems to permanently be distance between us in some places.

How do I overcome that gap, both for my father and I right now and potentially for my son and I one day? I also wonder how this sort of thing touches my relationships with you fine gentlemen. Where do I feel distant? How can we overcome this?

I’m not saying that we should start kissing, but how can I become the type of person who is more comfortable with appropriate levels of intimacy, regardless of cultural norms or expectations?

Moving on up to the West Side

I wanted to share with everyone that I just moved from Redmond, WA to Seattle, WA, and now I have a new, more permanent address:

Cabe Matthews
718 4th Ave N, Apt. #20
Seattle, WA 98109

Mapquest/GoogleEarth me and check out how sweet of a location it is. I finally got a piece of the pie.

It's Snowing

I’m in the process of surviving my first Seattle snowstorm.

The natives have told me that it’s rare to be snowing as much as it is. I’m currently stranded in a Korean church in Bothell, WA where we have many of our classes. Class has been out for about 4 hours. I might have to sleep here. My friend Justin and I had a snowball fight. This is awesome.

Requesting Drew's Presence on WitBrev

I thought that Drew was too busy to keep up with this blog, and that would have been fine, but by his own admission he doesn’t really do anything, so now I would like to offer him something to do.

I would like to request a post from you, Drew, as soon as possible. You should also post comments too. I know for a fact that you have lots of things to say, and I would like to invite you to say them here.

You’re a part of this shindig, and your voice has been sorely missed.

Who’s with me?

A Badass Bible

Matt and I were discussing the merits of badasses the other day, and the prospect of badasses in the Bible came up. Naturally, our thoughts bent towards the Old Testament. And lately, I have been reading 1st Samuel, so I suggested David as a Biblical badass. Matt suggested Saul. I laughed.

The reason I laughed is because, put simply, Saul was a wuss. Which, to me, is really, really funny. For a brief summary, the Israelites were getting cranky, as they did when they had it good, and asked for a king. God, being King of Kings, obviously was a little perturbed by this, so He told Samuel to anoint Saul. Now, Saul was tall and handsome, and in general, looked kingly. So, it comes time to announce to Israel who God has chosen for their king, and Samuel gives a speech on how this is a sin to ask for a king when they have God. Samuel steps off his soap box, the announcer comes over the loudspeaker, the drums roll, "Israel! Your new king is . . . . SAUL!" The light pans over to the right side of the stage and . . . *chirp chirp*. Saul is nowhere to be found. God tells Samuel that Saul is hiding behind some boxes. Samuel drags him out, and Israel realizes their new king is a wuss. This is God giving Israel the finger.

I love this scene. This is one of my favorites. Here is God messing with Israel, his chosen people, because they turned their back on him. Now, prior to this, God had done some pretty nasty stuff to Israel for forsaking Him (see the book of Exodus). But this was just brilliant. Not only does Israel not get a good king, they get a wuss. And Saul proves it over and over. When God said kill all the Amalekites and everything they owned, Saul spared King Agag and all the best of the livestock. Why did Saul disobey a direct order from God? Because that's what the soldiers wanted. So, once again (and another favorite scene of mine), God shows his wrath by telling Saul his lineage is no longer in line for the crown, and then He has Samuel hack Agag to pieces. Probably right in front of Saul, too.

Then, when Goliath comes calling the Israelites wusses, Saul basically agrees and sits in his tent. Then, David, probably shortly after he started growing his short and curlies, goes up to Saul, voice crackling, and says he'd like to fight Goliath. Does this inspire Saul to grab his sword and fight too? No. He gives David his armor! What a wuss! I mean, the only time he even shows he has a pair, is when he tries to kill David. But he misses with his spear. And then he misses again. And I think one more time. And each of these times, David was weaponless and playing his lute.

Now, Matt did later suggest Joshua. I suggested most, if not all, the judges. But I still think David is up there.

Anyway, all this to say that God has a great sense of humor, even when His chosen people have turned their backs on Him.



That, and Matt is wrong.

Selling out...

Jeremy Grey: ...What do you like better, Christmas or Wedding season? (Jeremy raises hand)

John: Mister Grey.

Jeremy: Yes, um...the answer would be um...wedding season?

John: Bingo...

****

In America, we like to gauge how old we are by how many birthdays we have seen. I think a much more accurate picture of your age is how many of your friend's weddings you have been to. And by this principle, I'm going to be three times older at the end of this month. During this month, I have the privilege of attending two weddings, and as of right now; it's one down and one to go. I've been told on numerous occasions that marriage is the most accurate metaphor we have for our relationship with God and because of that, weddings are supposed to be something beautiful.

Last Saturday, I attended my second real wedding. I was a friend of the bride and had known her for pretty much my whole life. We grew up in church together, and so many of our old church friends were at the wedding. It was wonderful and heart wrenching seeing old friends, because you get to see what they have become. But at the same time, you wonder if you will ever see these people again.

Since late in my college life, I have never been a guy that was concerned about whether they were ever going to get married. It seemed like most of my friends were much more concerned about this marriage thing I was, and I liked it that way. It's easier to be content and not feel insecure. Unfortunately, it was at this particular wedding that I started to get these scared, insecure, and "XX chromosome feelings." Maybe it was the realization that many of my not-witless-brevity-friends are in long-term relationships and/or engaged. Or maybe it was all of my mom's friends asking me whether I have a girlfriend or when I'm going to get married. Or maybe it was because I’m getting old. Or it could just be at weddings you get to see how incredibly beautiful it is when two people can commit themselves to each other forever.

Whatever it is, I did have these feelings. And I think I can finally empathize with the rest of my guy friends, and the whole girl population. Furthermore, I think finally realize why people want marriage. It's not the fear of dying alone, or even sex that brings us into marriage. It is idea behind marriage that makes us want it so badly. We do this marriage thing because of a tad bit of naivety and a whole lot of hope. We should know full well coming into marriage that we can’t come anywhere even close to God’s love and commitment, but yet we try. That, maybe, through our stupidity and his grace, his glory will be shown. And that maybe through the small fraction of beauty and goodness that flickers throughout a marriage, we can see a tiny proportion of God’s love, glory, grace, and beauty. Marriage really can be as beautiful as people say it should be.

Since that wedding, I don't think I will ever look at marriage with apathy again. It will instead strike anticipation, fear, and hope that perhaps sometime in the FAR distant future God will gracefully place someone in my life where I'll be able commit myself to her much like how God committed himself to me.

And then, I might better understand how beautiful and amazing that metaphor really is and praise him even more.

Matt

Squatties and knocking girls off mopeds

The difficulty of posting. I find that posting is rarely on the forefront of my mind here. I just don't think about it that often. The times I do I can't think of anything to say. So much of my life is not fit for print these days. Dont' get me wrong I wish I could just share everything with everyone. It's just not that easy. Never is.

So why am I posting tonight? I wanted to remain a part of this. I didn't want to give up on it. I don't want to give up on the however many of us there are plus Tiffany blog thing we have going. I was trying to think of funny stories to tell, but they just seem to lack.

I went for a 15 or so mile bike ride to this store out in the boonies with a friend of mine. It was a cool camping store, but after like 5 seconds of walking around I had to go to the bathroom really bad. That's a bad condition to be in 8-10 miles out from home and at a store with unknown bathroom conditions and no personal load of toilet paper. Luckily even in the slighty ridiculous situations God provides. It's a weird place when you're thankful, so so so thankful for a nice squatty. These it turned out were top of the line, full height stalls! With doors! And yes, God even let them deem it a good idea to include some paper towels in the hand rinsing area (washing implies soap).

A day in the life. They don't mention that in those this is where I live videos do they? Nor do they mention the peril you place other people by bringing your Western mentality and driving abilities to the far side of the world.

This girl was making a crazy wide turn on her moped thing and I was flying on my bike and she was about to pinch me against the wall. Well what could I do? It was me or her and I didn't want to fall on my face, so I kicked her moped and made her spin out and crash.

That's what she would have said if I had stopped to ask if she was alright. I think there is still some shock when I ride by unsuspecting mopeds. One I'm really white. That's not normal here. Two I'm going faster than them and bike's don't go faster than motorized vehicles right? I always forget that part. Anyway she was swerving into me and was going to pinch me against the little wall to keep us from spilling out into the street. So I whistled somewhat loudly to draw her attention to the collision course we were on. (My options in retrospect were to slow down or stop or be crushed). I don't think of the stopping option very often. So she notices me and jerks away really fast, unfortunately her front tire was already colliding with my foot and my velocity and her turning the bike caused my foot to accelerate the rate at which her front tire was turning to the right, causing a sudden deceleration and a sort of falling over motion.

A quick sorry and I'm was off again. I was going even faster so she wouldn't catch up with me, thank goodness she didn't. That'd be really awkward.

See what I mean, these stories don't feel as funny as they do when you lived through them. I could be wrong, I hope you see the humor. I miss you guys. I'm still here.

Wishing I Could Fly South for the Winter

Yesterday was the first day of winter in the Seattle area, at least as far as I’m concerned.

I went outside after my first class was over at 5:30 and it was already dark. After my second class was over at 8:30 there was ice all over my car. I can already see the snow accumulating on the Cascade Mountains to the east, and radio DJ’s are rooting for the local ski resorts to be open by Thanksgiving.

Naturally this scares the crap out of me. I think for Halloween I’m going to be someone who is very afraid of freezing to death. I’m wearing four layers of clothing, including a Texas Basketball shirt which I wear both in celebration of the beginning of the college basketball season and also as an explanation as to why I am so tightly bundled up when it’s “only” 42 degrees outside in the middle of the day.

Wish me luck. I may need it.

Geographical Paradox: A few observations from a speeding train

So I got to take a train ride and these are some of my thoughts from starring out the window which I did a lot of.

We have passed cities and country side and I am struck by the tragic beauty of this place. A land so beautiful, yet it tells the story of innumberable tragedies. A place with hope for the future, but a past filled with sorrow it is forbidden to grieve. Rust and decay with a growth of new life and construction. Here prisoners live in ignorant freedom. This place where poverty of possession is being replaced with imported materialistic poverty of soul. The home of the future, who are controlled by a stagnating present, but bear the burden of hundreds of generations of history, culture, and family. Life and Death. Tragedy and Beauty.

It was just amazing to me how scenery could tell the story of a location and it's people so well.

I have faith in faith, but should I?

Have you ever been a part of a spiritual conversation where some confusing idea surfaces, and in the confusion one or both parties decide that they “just need to have faith” and not worry about such seeming paradoxes? I think most of us have done something like this at one time or another, and I’m not entirely convinced that this is a good thing. I mean, yes, of course, in the Christian life we all need faith, everyone would agree on that. But is that what it’s all about, Or can faith instead be used as a barrier behind which we can hide so that we won’t have to really interact with God? Wait a minute, what exactly is faith?

Isn’t it just believing in something that we can’t see?

Well, yes, but is it not much more than that?

Yes, of course it is. One of my professors, Dan Allender, has talked a lot about faith (it is, after all, part of the name of the course). He talks a lot about remembering stuff, and how faith yields stability, and how hope is faith for the future, and that betrayal works to destroy faith, and a bunch of stuff like that.

Wait, what is it?

I thought I just told you that.

I don’t think you did.

Oh, so you want me to give you a real, actual definition?

Yes, please.

Well, I don’t really know that I can do that. Can’t you just have faith that God knows the definition?

Yes I can! That’s perfect! I can use my faith that God knows what “faith” means so that I won’t have to actually think about and ponder these things. This is brilliant!

Wait a minute, what were you saying earlier about faith not necessarily being a good thing when it’s used as something to hide behind in order to avoid actual relationship with God and the difficult and often paradoxical ideas that are often used to describe him?

What? Oh, I don’t remember, why?

Eh, no reason.

El Andude? More like La Andude.

Happy Birthday shout out to the Andude.

I'm going to be "That guy from Texas", but I'll have the last laugh when we beat them at football.

So much has happened in the last week in my life.

The Andude and Matt and I had a classic porch night, which included an equally classic heated argument which undoubtedly would have included intense yelling if we weren't so concerned about waking the Andude's new neighbors.

I bought a car - a grey 2004 Honda Civic. Well, actually the credit union bought it, but I'll pay them back.

Drew and I enjoyed a nice morning beer (pre-9 AM) the other day when we had breakfast. Then he left to go lead a devotional.

Then my dad and I took turns driving my car as we traveled from Houston to Rock Springs, Wyoming. We left at 8 PM Friday night and we got here 22 hours and 1,356 miles later. Tomorrow we're going to Yellowstone where we will stay for 2 nights before driving the rest of the way to Seattle on Tuesday. When we get there my dad and I are going to take Rene out to dinner, then set up the cot that I will be sleeping on in Rene's apartment until I find a place of my own.

School starts on the 5th of September, and until then I'm just going to look for a job and/or roommates. I'm taking four classes this fall:

Intro to Hermeneutical Task: The Art of Reading Beyond the Page
Faith, Hope and Love
Interpersonal Foundations
Counseling Practicum I

I don't really know exactly what those classes are going to be about, but don't they have cool names?

This is by far the craziest thing I've ever done. Almost all of the people that I love and care about are in Texas, but I'm moving to Seattle. I feel like I've brought hardly anything, whether material or personal. Not much fits in that car - two computers, clothes, books, a couple of coffee makers. Is it weird that I brought two computers and two coffee makers but couldn't find the room for a chair or a bed? My priorities are pretty screwed up.

I feel like I'm on an adventure. And I'm getting a lot of help and support from people like my parents and Rene, but for the first time I really feel like I'm on an adventure with just God and me. Other characters come in and out, but at the end of the day even I'm playing a supporting role to whatever he has planned. In the coming months I'm going to feel frustrated and stressed and lonely at times, but I'm not going to be able to fix it myself. Everything is a gift from God. Things could look really good on paper throughout this whole experience, or maybe they'll look really terrible, but after all is said and done I think I'll be closer to my Creator than ever, and in spite of the blood, sweat and tears that might cost, I'm excited about that right now.

The Stadium Blues: Part Deux

Not that I mean to discount the urgency of the post below, but . . . . well, I'm not sure how to end that sentence. Anyway, on Tuesday I will leave the Stadium behind. I have only lived there for nigh on three months, and at the most, it only had four residents (Edison doesn't really count cause he was never there, even if he was, you didn't know), but it felt like a home to me.

As Cabe was saying, the character of the house and the residents within was what made it great. It didn't matter that it doesn't have a dishwasher, or a washer/dryer, or central air, or insulation of any kind. It was the surprises that made it great. The fact that you could open the pantry door and, supposing you didn't see any, you could hear about a thousand bugs, similar to the bug scene in Temple of Doom. Plus, there was the greatness of the airsoft guns used as pest control. That, or the numerous fires we set on the front porch. Or the time the cops came after Cabe and I for setting off fireworks in the trash can out front. Numerous good times.

One of the reasons I loved the place so much was the fact that the house was almost a 6th roommate, and it fit in so well. It was in a perpetual state of dirtiness, the fridge would break down, not all the stove burners worked, the A/C units never quite worked right, all the floors creaked, the nails on the stairs stuck out, the bathroom looked like it had been mold-plated, the front door was never consistent in opening, often confusing first-time visitors and making them think it was locked.

Sadly, this is all coming to an end. With the exception of Brandon Fain, the Stadium will have complete newbies in the house. What I mean by that is that there will be no overlap of old housemates with the new, to influence and guide them as they make their transition into the entity that is the Stadium. Thus, the Stadium has recently lost part of its soul. Those responsible: Nathan Brasher, Richard, and sadly, yours truly. Within two days of moving in the house, Nathan Brasher completely cleaned the kitchen, bathroom and living room. And by completely cleaned, I mean the only remnants of dirt were those stubborn stains that simply won't budge, God bless 'em. He also replaced the shower curtain, that dear shower curtain. Then, Richard added on to it by mowing the yard, replacing the linoleum in the bathroom, cutting the trees that were touching the roof, and cleaning out the A/C units. My part in this whole mess has been letting them do all this. This day will live in infamy.

Lastly, I will miss the vicinity to Hyde Park and surrounding areas. I am moving to East 16th Street. Yes, I am finally moving on up to the east side. I finally got a piece of the pie, but it is a bittersweet pie. A blackberry pie, if you will. You see, I never really took advantage of the area until last night. Sure, I visited several places in the area with Cabe and the likes, but we usually drove everywhere. This is so unneccesary, and I didn't truly realize this until last night.

You see, last night I got tired of hanging out with people and left the traditional nightly social gathering early. I went home to the Stadium, grabbed my cigarrettes, my wallet and a copy of Blue Like Jazz. I don't normally smoke, only in times of stress, and recently things have been weighing down on me. Anyway, I walked towards JP's Java in hopes that they were open at 11:30 at night. When I got there, I decided I didn't just want to sit, smoke and read, but I wanted a beer. So, I headed towards Crown and Anchor. But when I got there, it seemed too much of a bar scene, whereas I just wanted a coffee shop with balls. So, naturally, I headed to Spider House. I went in, ordered a Chimay on draught, sat with my chalice, lit up a Dunhill cigarrette (a British brand, to be sure in my elitist attitude) and began reading that last of Blue Like Jazz. It was amazing, not only the book, the smoke, and the beer, but the atmosphere. At around midnight, a band started playing a kind of country/bluegrass/down home music. I felt like I had discovered a new world, yet everyone knows about it. I feel like such a yuppie writing this, but I will definitely miss this area of Austin. My only hope is that I get a bike and the weather is nice for most of the year so I can traverse 35 without driving.

I guess all this is to say I got into Austin a couple years too late. If I had started here instead of the pirate whore that SMU is, I would have a completely different view of college life. My life has been completely changed since March when I started giving a damn about other people. If any of you are in town, feel free to stay at my place. Funds permitting, I'll even buy you a beer.

In a story that is in NO way related to my post from August 4:

If you know of anyone who needs a place to live in Austin, TX, tell me or Brandon Fain. Brandon is looking for a fifth roommate to live in an enormous upstairs room in a house on 34th street. The location is really sexy (walking distance from the University of Texas) and the rent is very affordable, especially considering how much space this person will have. I hear they have stadium seating in their living room, too. Seriously though, Brandon is in a tough spot, and anything you could do to find someone who might live there would be great. Thanks.

Stadium Blues

A week ago tonight was my last night in The Stadium. I really miss the place. I mean sure, it was a piece of crap house, but it had personality, and a personality I enjoyed. Don't get me wrong, I really have loved the luxury of central air conditioning in the last week, but The Stadium's lack of that really only added to its charm in my opinion. I have a lot of memories in that house, and probably because I lived there for two years it will forever define in my mind my college experience more than any other location. Of course the place still haunts my dreams.

Literally. Last night I had a dream that I was battling roaches in my old room. And when I say battle, I mean of epic proportions. They were invading my room and I was killing as many as I could with my right flip flop. It was like a scene from Lord of the Rings, except there was no CGI, it was all real. I had to smash each one hard enough to kill it, but softly enough so that I didn't break whatever fragile object they happened to be climbing upon. These roaches were very clever in my dream, and seemed to only perch themselves on items made of glass or other breakables.

I smashed one once that was so big that it exploded all over my bed (which was at least 5 feet away). I wanted to stop to clean it off, but I couldn't because the evil horde kept advancing (they were hitting me pretty hard on my left flank at the time). As scary as that sounds to most of you, it seemed pretty natural to me. I was pretty steamed at them for getting their yellow slime and fragments of exoskeleton on my sheets, but other than that it just felt like business as usual.

When I woke up I was kind of disappointed that I wasn't able to be surrounded by roaches, or be engulfed by a heat wave when I walked into the living room, or watch as Nathan tried to get Matt to look at him naked, or patrol the neighborhood with the Andude trying to find cats that we can shoot with airsoft guns, or participate in some ridiculous argument with Matt.

She was a good house, and she'll be missed.

Skype

So recently a few of us had our first Skype phone call. It was less like a phone call and more like we were all just living in a dorm room or something. Each of us were working on other things or doing whatever, but at any point we could talk about something. It was really cool.

So I was thinking, that the Matthew readings/postings have not gotten off to such a hot start. I already know Cabe can figure out where this is going and so far he's in. Logistically what I'm about to propose may in fact be impossible as far as schedules go and time zones and what not.

Before I propose it: Drew, Garrett, Sam, Andude, Nathan all need to go get SKYPE
Download it, it's free, you need a microphone and speakers. Then do a search and find all the rest of us, we're already on.

So what I propose is that we do a conference call and read a chapter of Matthew together once a week. 1 hour or less, maybe even just 20 minutes. But 1 chapter a week. Thursday afternoons, at 2pm.

I just picked a time. But if someone proposes a better time I'm down. We will have to adjust to B-Mart and Coop's locations. But for now why not?

Thoughts, alternative times?

I'm always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

Nathan is now engaged to Marcie Henry. All of that went down this past Friday. In response to that i wanted to extend my congratulations here on the blog, and allow all of you to do the same.

I also wanted to request the whole story from Nathan's point of view in the form of a blog post.

Let's hear it, buddy.

So Bennigan's closed tonight

Bennigan's in McAllen closed tonight. Permanently. I couldn't help but laugh, out loud actually. I'm still laughing. Sure I had fun there, but come on what kind of crappy business management could crap that up? Here's to incompetence. We've heard rumors of some sort of improprieties or something.

It's hardly worth noting and yet it really is. As far as the McAllen chapter of our blog goes, Bennigan's was a staple. Good or bad, I'm not sure. Probably both. I don't really have much more to say about the subject. I just felt like it should be noted in passing. Here's a great big "Oh well, moving on..."

Speaking of moving on... actually I'm not really. Today I had an eye dr. appt. No biggie, just trying to make sure my glasses are up to date before I head out. So I don't know if you guys get the whole pupil dilation thing done to you, but that's pretty much torture. I have a condition in my eyes that makes me extremely sensitive to light in normal conditions, much less with dilated pupils. I don't know if the doctor forgot that, or was just being an ass, but I almost feel compelled to pass onto the CIA this new untraceable torture technique. Seriously, I confess already, I did it! Oh man, I promise I'm trying as hard as I can to keep my eyes open but the bright light, and you sticking stuff in them does not help! It'd be one thing if you were understanding doctor, but you were an ass! Come on keep your eyes open. Oh I'm sorry, I normally can keep my eyes open just fine when staring at the sun, I don't know what's wrong today. Hmmmm. Maybe it's I have a freaking condition that my eyes let too much light in? Oh oops was that not on the chart? Oh by the way you may have glacouma. I mean you're in the high normal range, it's just I'm a paranoid doctor, and normally you're very normal. Whatever just stop sticking me in the eye with the light, I don't care. Oh and get me a prescription for some weed.

Most of the above was my mental processing during my eye doctor visit. Little was actually voiced, but it should have been. I have to go back next Monday for more torture. Pray that I don't have glacouma and that the doctor is just an overly cautious prick. Oh but I'm less blind in my right eye. Go figure. Anyway, it's not really a big deal but any prayer is appreciated.

Matthew 8

Read it here.

Or you can read it here in the translation that our newest contributor's dad helped to put together (the NET Bible).

Let's get this party restarted.

I'm in Houston. You know, where all that money you pay at the pump eventually ends up. Suckas!

I moved out of the Stadium yesterday and into my parents' house in the northwest burbs of Houston. From here I am going to figure out what I'm going to do for the next year of my life. Austin will be missed, especially the people - it is still the city which maintains a plurality of the people I really care about, and Houston isn't nearly as cool. On the bright side, however, I did get to go to the Houston Ginger Man last night, and I enjoyed the beer and the company a great deal. I hadn't seen B Mart in a year or so, and it has been awhile since I've seen either Garrett or Drew, and it's always refreshing to catch up. I also got to hang out with a random really drunk dude, and that's always nice.

The sad part is last night could be the last time I'll hang out with Coop for a year, as he is going to East Asia. Coop, you'll be in my prayers buddy.

This morning I went to church with Drew at Second Baptist (a.k.a. "The Bapti-dome"). In a related story, I saw the two biggest stained glass windows in the world today, along with the third largest pipe organ in the world. The amount of money this church has makes my stomach a bit queasy, but I did really enjoy the preaching: in spite of all of the money, Ben Young brought it, and even though I felt like I was attending the J.D. Rockefeller of churches, I could tell that God's hand is very much on the place. Plus they let first time visitors grab a handful of diamonds from a special plate in the welcome area, and they even supply little baggies for you to keep them in. One handful only, please.

I hope they support Drew, because if they don't I fear for their salvation.

Also, in spite of how many people attended the contemporary service I was at, I'm pretty sure I was the only person in the room who voted for John Kerry in 2004. Not a bad thing necessarily, just an observation. Seriously though, I don't know if I've ever been in a room with that many Republicans. It made me miss Matt a lot.

I was made aware of a terrible travesty today. Do you remember when CiCi's pizza was $2.99? I believe it was the best pizza value anywhere (at least according to their jingle)? Do you remember when they raised the price to $3.99? Do you remember how many consecutive nights you cried yourself to sleep, wondering if their cheap crappy delicious pizza was worth the extra dollar? Then I'm sure you'll be just as enraged as I was today when I saw a billboard on I-45 advertising CiCi's all-you-can-eat pizza for $4.49. Seriously, folks. I wouldn't joke about this. Now it's only fifty cents cheaper than that Pizza Hut buffet by campus, and there is no way that Pizza Hut is only fifty cents better than CiCi's. And how many pepperoni rolls can you get at Double Dave's for that price? Weak. If I want overpriced crappy food I would go to Chili's. CiCi's, you're fired.

KO
FI
AH
NAN
(clap clap, clap clap clap)

Welcome to The Andude

We will shortly have a new member here at Witless Brevity. His name is Andrew Wallace, but you can call him The Andude. I'm pretty sure most of you already know him, but for those of you that don't, consider yourself formally introduced.

My first facebook birthday

So yes I've been on facebook long enough that this was actually my second facebook birtheday, but this one had a ridiculously facebooky feel. Actually it was way better than those first two sentences would lead you to believe. I woke up to a breakfast of chocolate cake. I deferred until lunch time. (It was only putting it off for 2 hours anyway). This was my first birthday to spend anytime with family in 2 years. 3 years ago my parents were with my in Colorado for my B-day, but it was nice waking up at home.

Speaking of past B-day's. I really had no expectations for today. Comparing it to having 20-30 close summer project friends around I figured it wouldn't be nearly as good as that. But it was. I flew up to Houston, mid day. My birthday gift/our son is going to East Asia for a year gift was a weekend trip to Houston to see the Astros as a family. Pretty sweet deal. I wound up flying a day early b/c I needed to visit a certain consulate about a certain document to gain access. Therefore travelling on my B-day.

Almost didn't make it due to some ticket problems, but luckily the plane was only beginning to load as a I got through security/arrived at the gate.

I didn't realize how good it was going to be to see B-Mart again. Add on a little Drew and Sam, and it was really enough to beat the past 3 years of Snow Ridge b-days. Don't get me wrong, those were awesome, but sometimes you forget how much you miss people, and how much it means to see them again. Add on that Cabe, Garrett, my friend Omar, my brother, and my Grandfather all called me on my brithday.

By the way, not to sound unappreciative, but B-day's have to be the stupidest idea ever. What a gimic for materialism. Way to be born. Good job on not dying yet. You don't really earn a birthday. You could argue that in a few years we will be on our own and have to work and feed ourselves and whatnot to survive another year, but that's crap and you know it. B-day's are grace days. You are appreciated because of who you are, who God made you to be. It's refreshing and a bit humbling to realize, you know the only thing I did 23 years ago yesterday was manage to get pushed out into the world, and yet all these people are legitimately glad I am here.

Maybe that's why we celebrate birthdays. I like that better then getting crap. Though if you do want to get me crap, get me useful crap like money, or itunes money, or support. The best gifts yesterday were a place to sleep (B-Mart's) and 2 beers (B-Mart and Sam). But even those things were just part of the package of getting to see these guys. Maybe these birthdays are just a good day to take stock of how blessed you have been in this past year.

Oh I found out today that B-Mart took 4th place in the EA National Weightlifting Championships of the World. Not too shabby.

Since Drew and Sam never post on here (Drew just post your prayer letters) quick updates on them. Sam works for Baylor Medical doing research. Really he is the guy that kills all the rats/mice they use in experiments. In 4 days he has killed more rats then populated his building. He has since started advertising on the internet seeking rats for dissection and experimentation. If you have any please send them (live) to Sam. The good news is he is helping to come up with a vaccine to prevent the rotavirus. This causes diarrhea in third world countries and in my home town. The bad news is Sam has the squirts really really bad.

As for Drew, he has propsed that Crusade at Rice sponsor the monthly campus streakings in an effort to gain campus exposure. After all he is a business major, and we business majors know that all exposure is good exposure. Thanks Marketing 337. But really he's tired, he just got back from Branson where he secured 50 jobs for the students to work at. After doing that he enjoyed pretending he was retired and attending the afternoon matinee shows in downtown Branson. Now he's preparing to reinfiltrate Rice. He is very excited about this next year. He gets to lead the women's ministry on campus. Girls there are no female staff members at Rice, so please graduate and join staff and go to Rice for their sake. (By girls I guess by default I'm addressing Tiffany our lone female reader, you're exempt because you're at Texas and that's way cooler, sorry Drew but it is. Any other girls who accidentally read this blog should probably stop.)

Anyway, the two paragraphs above may be sligthly off in how actual events may have occurred, but they allow you to understand a little bit about what Sam and Drew are up to. If they want to set the record straight they can post on here.

Anyway (part 2) , great B-day. I love you guys. I get to see Cabe and Garrett tomorrow! And more B-Mart and Drew, and maybe some Sam too! Don't worry I saw Matt and Nathan last weekend, but they can come too if they want. As for facebook, look on my wall and count how many "Happy Birthday's" I have. It's sick. I tell you true friendship is expressed in Facebook Happy Birthday wishes. I'm being sarcastic, but I really do appreciate them. It's quite a good feeling when people at coffee shops look over your shoulder and see all the Facebook notification emails and have quizzical looks on their faces, only to turn and smile and say it's my birthday, to have them nod in understanding and say "Ahhh, right-oh". That didn't really happen but we could all imagine how cool it would be if it did. And if it did happen that quoted part should be imagined with an accent of your choice, mine was a generic British one.

Speaking of Nathan, (I was just speaking of him when I orgininally wrote this, but then I remember the title of this was facebook birthday so I had to talk about that) he should be posting a story about a real occurance soon, right?

Whoa, I'm halfway there. Whoa, living on a prayer.

"Visualize Whirled Peas."
-Bumper Sticker on 34th St.

It's been almost a month since I've posted anything in this space, and I apologize for my absence. Matt made the comment that the blog is dying, something that I very much do not want to happen, so here I am to rage against the dying of the light.

A lot has happened to me in the last 48 hours or so. First, I decided that I was definitely going to stay in Austin this coming year. Then I went to what was basically a job interview at this really cool new church in 78704, and it went well and I felt really good about it. Something seemed really uneasy though the whole day, like something was not quite right. Then I decided that I am definitely moving to Houston, at least temporarily. Then I was accepted to Mars Hill in their Master of Arts in Christian Studies, which more or less came out of the blue. Now I'm trying to figure out whether or not I'm moving to Seattle, while at the same time working on logistics for how and when I'll be moving to Houston for now.

It's been a hectic couple of days. Pray for me for discernment and that I would not make any decisions based simply upon my own preferences, but instead that I would follow God wherever he would lead me.

Moving out

My living room desperately misses having a full complement of couches. My bedroom looks frightening without a bed and desk. Rene's storage unit is extremely full. And I don't really feel like I have a home here anymore. I was going to write that I don't belong, but I still feel attached, a sense of connectivity to the place or perhaps the people.

I'm really excited to go because of where I'm going and what I'm doing, and what I'll get to experience. My next year is so vague and yet so clearly defined. I know where I'll be and what I'll be doing and why, but don't have a clue how. Or have any concept of what it will be like.

Life after college is really about to begin for me on August 14th. Up until then it's just summer time right now. More later.

Greetings from Portland.

So Cabe and I have been conquering the Pacific Northwest the past 2 weeks. We feel like we've done it all almost. With some notable exceptions we did everything we wanted to. We skipped some gardens and the space needle and a few science museums because they were freaking rip offs. But from the blue field at Boise State, to seeing the Fray in Vancouver (with 1,000 screaming jr. high girls), to stumbling upon the International Beer Festival in Portland, and of course watching them throw fish at Pike's Place in Seattle, we've done pretty much everything we wanted to do.

We rode up with Rene, stayed with my brother, hung out with Kelli, and then ran into David in Portland. It's kind of crazy that that many friends would be way up here, but kind of cool.

This trip has also marked the beginning of the final month here in the US. It hits me in weird ways at weird times. I feel a greater desire to make sure I get a chance to see people before I go.

Anyway, I don't really have anything significant or thought provoking to type about yet, I just wanted to say we'll be back tomorrow and explain why Cabe and I have been absent for 2 weeks or more.


Oh jeez, the highway.....

Nawlin's and Hippies

A friend of mine recently told me that everyone has their "vices" and that mine is being judgmental. In short, I always think I'm better than other people, when in reality it hardly is the case.

* * *

With that short introduction, I will tell yall the story of my last month in the Big Easy.

For the last month, I've been doing relief work in New Orleans for a group called Common Ground Relief. Common Ground helps clean out houses that were flooded by Katrina in the poorest neighborhood in New Orleans, the 9th Ward. This neighborhood is predominantly black and has received little help from FEMA and insurance companies. It's a place that has had a long history of racism, and police brutality. These problems continue to face the 9th ward. Helping here reminded me that the world isn't always as simple as it appears and sometimes it's extremely corrupt and sad.

Most of the people I was working with and living with were white college students (Common Ground provides housing and meals for volunteers). Most of the college students were from liberal arts schools... ie Hippie schools. For example, the most over represented college was Hampshire College located in Massachusetts. According to Princeton Review, Hampshire College ranks first in the college that "smokes the most pot" and first in the "most Birkenstock-Wearing, Tree-Hugging, Clove-Smoking" college... ie most Hippie college. Hampshire people are different. They don't take showers everyday, they don't change clothes every week, they walk around barefoot, and instead of turning on a T.V. when bored, they make drum circles.

Furthermore, they annoyed me to death.

I think there is a strange misconception of hippies within the Christian realm... Maybe because of Blue Like Jazz. The hippies I met were not cordial hippies you read about in BLJ. They are the right-wing-stubborn-"you're going to hell"-republicans of the left. They claim to be open minded but they are only open minded in things that are different, non-mainstream, non-order, and not republican. These people seemed no more accepting than Rush Limbaugh...

Because of this, it made my trip really difficult. It's really hard to love people that don't seem to love others the same way (ie. The Nazi's, the KKK, or that stubborn-right-wing-Bill O Reilly lovin- republican that won't listen to logic). However, according to Jesus, no matter how much they don't love others you have to love them...

Because let's face it...

If we don't love people because of their different philosophies on life and different ideas on cleanliness, your criteria for who you love is incorrect. My arbitrary litmus scale of who to love based on character (being open minded, taking showers everyday, and being loving) is no better than their litmus scale of who to love based on political beliefs. Jesus doesn't have a litmus scale on who to love and nor should I.

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. Matthew 7.1.

Judging people creates a cycle that eventually makes everyone think they are better than each other. It creates an odor that repels love. Being judgmental and loving doesn't mix.

I forgot that lesson my first week in New Orleans, and it made my first week unbearable.

The next 3 weeks were spent trying to love these people for who they were. The same friend that called me a judgmental jerk helped me realize that staying in New Orleans was a good thing for my character. Maybe he was right. Maybe I developed a little more patience, kindness, and love through the hippies.

Maybe New Orleans didn't need me, maybe I needed it.

Matt

Todd's Question

Last night Todd Stewman asked a question that was so good it was almost hilarious. I’d like to ask it to all of you. Read Matthew 5:16. Read Matthew 6:1. Keep in mind Jesus said both of these things in the same sermon. Both verses are talking about doing things so that other people can see them, but 5:16 says that you should do it and 6:1 says that you absolutely shouldn’t do this. How do you reconcile these two seemingly contradictory verses?

Matthew 7

Read it here.

And he fought to stay, but always dreamed that he could leave this place.

I heard a couple songs today that I hadn't listened to in awhile, and they really stirred something in me that they tend to stir every few months: a deeper passion for God and lost people. I want to share them here. They are by a band called Brave Saint Saturn who broke up a long time ago and who also doesn't keep up with their website. I'm just going to post the lyrics and let them do what they may.

Estrella
i write clever words on paper
i sometimes think i don't believe at all
i've never felt so fake
so false
i'm such a liar
i couldn't even look him in the eyes
he was 25 like i was
but he was deaf and slowly going blind
he made my faith seem worthless
the things i hoped were pointless
and he fought to stay but
always dreamed that he could leave this place
the angels wings will cover you tonight
hallelujah
press your head
against the breast of christ
hallelujah
It made me feel so empty
collapsing on some dirty bathroom floor
and isn't it just like me to warn his passing breath
when he will never suffer anymore?
beautiful his pictures
fading black and silver
and i sing of faith but his was true and fierce
and i will miss him
the angels wings will cover you tonight
hallelujah
press your head against the breast of christ
hallelujah
the angels wings will cover you tonight
hallelujah
press your head against the breast of christ
hallelujah

Heart Still Beats
The girl in the alley kneels with exhaustion
She's guarded by the skinny guy who limps from some infection
Behind a veil of bleached thin hair her eyes tell a story
Like a photo of Berlin, December 1944
She's looking for a handout, she's been high for several weeks now
She's too far gone for whoring and the money just gave out

And her heart still beats inside
And the blood runs in her veins
A remnant of life remains
Her heart still beats inside

The man finally comes to the door, I've seen him several times
He always looks pissed off and his sunglasses stay on
I think he got his biceps and tattoos while in prison
And it doesnt seem to bother him when he says "go to hell"

And his heart still beats inside
The blood runs in his veins
A remnant of life remains
His heart still beats inside

The thought it comes to my mind, to somehow intervene
But it could bring me trouble, and what could I do anyways?
It's hard to be affected when it happens so often
To see a life unraveling, through drawn venetian blinds
I'm sickened by compassion, I'm stifled by my limitations
Anesthetic apathy, come take the pain away

And my heart still beats inside
The blood runs in my veins
A remnant of life remains
And my heart still beats inside

Oh God, we need you here
We're sinking fast and we dont care
The evidence is all around me, on both sides of my door
Our hearts beat


If anyone else wants to post songs or places or books or art or whatever else that stirs your passion for God, you should.

Mission to Mars

Sam dropped me off at the airport at about 2:30 pm for my 4:00 flight. Due to weather in Houston we weren't able to take off until after 9:30, and needless to say I had missed my connecting flight from Houston to Seattle which was supposed to leave at 5:50. We roll into the E terminal in Houston at 10:40, and the last flight to Seattle leaves at 10:45. I book it over to the gate where it is scheduled to depart and get on standby. Luckily that plane had been delayed also, and didn't end up taking off until almost midnight anyways. So I'm on standby along with about a million other people it seems, and they start boarding and they tell us that the flight is really full. The next flight isn't until 7:50 in the morning, which even if I was able to snag a seat on that plane would put me at least 30 minutes late for my noon appointment.

They start calling standby names. Collective groans go out after each name is called as all of us in the crowd become more and more pessimistic about our chance of getting on this plane. Finally she calls the last name, and the person goes over and gets his ticket and boards. They are about to shut the doors when a guy who had been standing there for some time stops them. He has a boarding pass in hand and asks if there is a spare seat for his friend, who is still in the crowd. She says no, that they are all full, and that he needs to get on the plane so they can go. His friend's voice coming from the crowd tells him the same, "Go ahead man, I'll catch up with you later." The guy with the ticket responds, "No way. All for one and one for all," and gives his ticket back to the flight attendant. She hurriedly reaches for the list of standby names and says:

"Matthews, George."

I think I probably screamed like a little girl. I went from being positive that I was going to miss the only reason I was going to Seattle, to being elated at getting literally the last seat on this plane, and a seat that had already been given to someone else.

Can I just reiterate my belief that our God is the God of the super clutch? It was as if he was saying, "Oh hey Cabe, I see your having trouble making it to Seattle. It's cool, I'll give you a ride. This one's on me."

It was a fun trip. Mars Hill is amazing; I feel like I would fit in well and like it would shake my world in a way that it needs to be shaken, and that it would also change my life and my future ministry. And Seattle is beautiful. The high was 72 degrees, the trees look like Christmas trees, and they have bigger hills than Austin, along with a slew of highways and tiny urban roads that weave and wind up, down, around, over and even under the hills and buildings.

I am supposed to find out in the next week whether I'm accepted. I'll keep you all posted.

Matthew 6

Read it here.

What Jesus Offers the Underdog

Matthew 5:1-16

This huge crowd of people from all over the place is following Jesus around, some probably because they wanted to be entertained and some because of the irresistibility of groupthink, but definitely also some who really don't know why they are following him around hoping for a glimpse of something special, but they just feel very compelled to follow him, like the salmon feel when it's time for them to leave the salt water and take to fighting upstream.

So Jesus climbs up onto this slope and sits down, then his disciples come and join him and he just starts teaching.

He starts listing types of people, many of them associated with labels that most people would rather not have for one reason or another - the meek, the persecuted, the mourners, the poor in spirit. Others might carry labels which sound like really good qualities, but if you think about it people who are characterized by these things are often taken advantage of or trampled upon and forgotten in this dog eat dog world of ours - the people who are hungry for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers.

All of these people probably had a really tough time living in Jesus' day, and probably led a very frustrating existence, feeling as though perhaps the whole world was against them. They are misfits - going through life always feeling like they have to oppose the whole world, always overwhelmed by this feeling that this isn't their home, that maybe they are missing something, that things really should be very different. These people certainly don't feel blessed or happy or fortunate, they aren't favored but instead feel much more like the little guy, the underdog.

Jesus offers that these people too can be "makarios" - blessed - and offers to them not acceptance or integration into a culture or a system, but instead offers them a place in a Kingdom Family.

He then makes them new. He takes these newly "blessed" people and gives them a new identity. No longer is their name meek or merciful or persecuted or poor in spirit, but instead they receive a new name from Jesus. He calls them Salt and tells them to go change the world, and then he also calls them Light and tells them that they are to be a beacon that advertises God's glory.

Pretty cool assignment for this band of misfits.

This seems to be somewhat of a central theme in Jesus' teachings. He's opening the door wide, and he wants the downtrodden and the perpetually disenfranchised to join him in Kingdom living.

This kind of bothers me, because the churches that I have always gone to in my life have not been full of people you might describe as disenfranchised at all. Where are the lepers and the prostitutes and the poor in spirit in our churches?

Some Support Updates

I just wanted to share how amazingly support is going. I am now at 56% of my monthly goal and 78% of my one time goal. It's ridiculous. It's been amazing because it's not me at all. It's like God has spent the last 3 generations of my family getting things ready for me to raise support. Just the fact that my dad is a banker is kind of an act of God. He graduated from Texas with a degree in Chem Engineering and worked in that field for four years.

A combination of things brought him to McAllen. Mostly my mom's dad. McAllen to me is like living in a suburb of a big city, minus the whole big city part. About the only thing you're missing is the big attractions a city would have and a downtown. Oh well. The great thing about it's size is that many people have been here for my whole life and much more. McAllen's still got that small town connectedness on some levels. Maybe that's not even it. Maybe it's just God being awesome.

I can't really comprehend what it must have taken for God to set up this network of supporters He's providing for me. My parents friends have already heard of Crusade, and almost all of them are excited about me going. It's kind of ridiculous, and I hope you guys know I'm sharing this because it's not me it's God. I haven't had a bad appointment yet. Every appointment that God has provided, ends with a new supporter on some level.

I feel that I have to share that with you guys otherwise I would be taking it for granted. Rejoice because God is really freaking good. He really really is.

Matthew 5

Hooray! Beatitudes and the beginnings of other general mountain-sermon materials. Read it or weep. Whatever that means.

Read it here.

Last Night of MSP

No not with support, though that is going well. I just finished my talks at Mission Service Project (MSP). I'm really glad I had the opportunity to speak to them. It was a great experience and a great opportunity. I didn't realize I had the capability to get up and talk for 25-35 minutes. Even on my "short" nights I was hitting the 20's. Haha, I always knew I was a bit of a windbag. Maybe if I got rid of the ums, uh's, and other nervous tic's I'd shave off some time. Aside from those things I really feel like it went well.

I had a few conversations with kids that made me think that at least for some of the kids what I was saying was going through. I hope they take back the idea's of community, that they live their lives willing to be used by God. Most importantly I hope though that the realized what they have in Christ. What we all have in Christ. Perfect relationship, Savior, Friend, Father, Leader, Guide, Mentor, Role Model, everything exemplified in Him.

I just hope they get it, if not now some point in their life. Not that being Christian is cool, it's not. Not that our walk will be fun and rewarding, though it can be and it is respectively. I hope that they get how big a deal God is. I hope that when they realize that, they realize how huge Christ is. And when they glimpse that they see how ridiculous it was that He came and died for them on and individual level. That's sick. It's epic. It's flat out ridiculous that the God of the Universe loves them that much. He loves us that much.

I read some Philippians with them and I was just blown away by how much passion Paul has for the Gospel, and for the Church at Philippi. I moved by the passion in his words. He so loves the Gospel and so loves the people. If we could all have love like Paul, man.

I'm also glad to be done. At times this really stressed me out. I prefer it to support raising, but I get back each night exhausted. I am worn out. I spend all day preparing and then each evening delivering and it doesn't seem like it should be so draining but it is. It was a good experience. I don't know if I have any future in this groups speaking role, though I already have my next offer (currently I have a no with a small window that I might say yes next week).

It was good though. I said what I wanted to say. The Gospel was shared and doubts were talked about. Community was discussed and the importance of Christ centered loving community was described. Living a life of being willing to be used by God was talked about even though I didn't have any great concrete applications points beyond asking God to give you His desires, and tonight we sorta wrapped it all up.

Amen.

Galilean Idol

Matthew 4 is kind of strange. Jesus gets baptized by John the Baptizer at the end of Matthew 3, and then he gets called out into the woods to fast for forty days, and then after forty days he starts getting a bit hungry, so Satan comes and tempts him, Jesus resists, angels come and take care of him, and that's the first half of the chapter. In the second half of the chapter, he goes from being someone who no one has heard of (and who just now almost starved to death) to being the next big pop star in the Galilee traveling rabbi circuit.

Maybe it’s just me, but that seems like a pretty dramatic shift.

What exactly do you think caused things to happen so quickly?

And what is that darn "gospel of the kingdom" he keeps referring to, and what does it mean for it to be "at hand"?

Question

Tomorrow is my last night speaking to this group of high schoolers. I'm leaving them with some resources like biblegateway, and everystudent.com. I was thinking about giving them this site address so they could see how community is played out in a group of guys who lives all over the world and Texas. I don't know if you guys are comfortable with that, or if you even think that's a hot idea.

I will let them know that we're not perfect and that they won't find answers here, but maybe some good questions to ask or something along those lines.

Thoughts? Is this community for us, or is it for the World?

Matthew 4

This one is exciting, guys. Jesus gets tempted in this chapter, and then he starts healing people. Pretty cool stuff...

Mars Hill Statement of Purpose

I am applying to Mars Hill Graduate School to seek a Masters of Divinity, and so I am posting my admissions essays here. Let me know what you think; I have to email them tomorrow.

Essay 1 - Statement of Purpose
Submit a Statement of Purpose essay which may include: What element(s) of your story motivate your desire to study at MHGS? How do you personally understand & identify with the mission & vision of MHGS? What do you hope to learn about yourself, God, the world and others while at MHGS?

I remember a couple of years ago I had been reading through the Old Testament starting in Genesis, and I was so moved by the stories. The Old Testament has some of the best stories I have ever heard, involving kings, prophets and average ordinary people and how they walked with the Lord – or didn’t in some cases – and how many of them experienced God in these really amazing ways that really seemed a lot more real than the way I had been experiencing a relationship with God. After all, I have never had a real audible conversation with him, and he’s never saved me from being burned in a fiery furnace, and I’ve never been led through a desert for forty years by the presence of God in the form of a cloud which also fed me bread which fell from the sky every morning. It really kind of made me jealous, that even though we were all redeemed from sin by the same Jesus Christ, it seemed like these people who lived before Christ became flesh got to experience his presence in a way that looked a lot more concrete than the way I had been experiencing a relationship with him.

I’ll never forget the day while I was sitting on the Capital Metro bus on my way home and thinking about all of these Old Testament characters and how they got to experience God. I think on this particular day I was thinking about the way David, the “man after God’s own heart”, walked with God in a way that seemed so intensely real and personal. In comparing my relationship with God to his I admit I was slightly frustrated by the differences I saw, and I offered a silent prayer in my head, “God, why can’t I have the depth of relationship with you that David has?” Almost before I could finish the thought an answer came back.

“You can,” was the silent but quick reply back to me.

My pursuit of ministry is nothing more than a follow up of that answer to prayer – to be whatever an Old Testament “man of God” looks like in today’s world, whether for me it’s a pastor or a missionary or whatever. I just feel an incredible pull towards serving the Body of Christ in some more direct, vocational capacity.

So where does Mars Hill come into the picture?

An emphasis on the Biblical text is, of course, critical to me when thinking of a place to pursue an M. Div. I feel like the Bible is a lot more than the simple “handbook for living” that it seems to be defined as in so many churches today, and I think this view is expressed well in the doctrinal statement on the “About MHGS” page of your website. Instead of hundreds of bullet points explaining your official position on this theological point or that one, you have a simple but profound statement whose point is only to say that you believe in reading the Bible, and it then goes into only a bit more detail on how you read it. I think that is revolutionary in its simplicity and nothing short of exact when it comes to accuracy. If we are to hold on to the Bible as the inspired Word of God, then I think we would be fools if we didn’t study it in such a way that its words impacted every aspect of our lives. I think that this school’s vision is consistent with the priority and authority that should be associated with the Biblical text.

I originally heard about Mars Hill from the Campus Crusade for Christ staff member who discipled me in college, Will Walker. He told me that if I wanted to go to a seminary which will change my perspective on life and also change my attitude towards the world, then I should go to Mars Hill. And that’s really what I would love to have. It seems like the more stretching and molding and challenging my soul endures the stronger the Lord’s hold on it will become. I’m a pretty young guy, with a lot of sanctification that I will undoubtedly undergo between today and the day that I die, and it seems like your vision with regards to training souls to live lives worthy of the gospel is aligned with the Holy Spirit’s vision for my soul as well.

Furthermore I feel like scriptures are very clear when it comes to the importance of evangelism. We live in a world that often asks the right questions but automatically rules out Christ as the answer. I firmly believe that he is the answer to a lot of life’s toughest questions and it really makes me sad to see all of the people who seek his answers in such dead ends as addiction to drugs, sex or themselves. I really believe that the gospel of Jesus Christ is the most universally applicable set of ideas ever, and somewhere along the way the church has somehow come to be viewed in many circles as irrelevant to life. I think this is probably one of the greatest tragedies in human history, and I think we should seek to engage our culture in a way that emphasizes that our great faith is not just one for people who lived two thousand years ago, but one that is absolutely crucial to a full life in any historical period, and particularly today in 2006. The importance Mars Hill seems to put on engaging our culture in an effort to better convey the gospel by meeting people where they are at, highlighted even by the name that was chosen for the school, is very exciting to me as a potential student.

I imagine that if I was admitted to Mars Hill I would have a pretty intense three or so years worth of stretching, challenging spiritual growth. I would expect to come out of the experience a much more qualified and capable ambassador for Christ in my increased knowledge and abilities to communicate and articulate that knowledge. I think I would probably also grow in empathy for the disenfranchised peoples of the world, and also I would likely become more and more broken hearted for the lost people in the world who don’t know the love and grace of Jesus.

And most importantly I imagine that a few years on Elliot Avenue would foster in me a deeper love for Jesus Christ, and this is why I would like to pursue a Masters of Divinity from Mars Hill.

Bring it on Home

I am applying to Mars Hill Graduate School to seek a Masters of Divinity, and so I am posting my admissions essays here. Let me know what you think; I have to email them tomorrow, so get back to me pretty quick if you can.

Essay 2 - Bring it on Home
Choose a Biblical story that has meaning for you, and discuss it alongside a “cultural artifact” of your choice. (A cultural artifact could be any piece of art, architecture, film, etc…that enhances, reflects or informs the meaning of your chosen text.)

In the first couple chapters of Genesis God creates the universe and everything in it, and afterwards admits that it’s all pretty good stuff. He can’t help it really, making things that are good. It’s one of those things that God does that characterizes who he is as much as anything. He creates. He makes stuff. Good stuff. And he makes lots of it for that matter. It might be one of the coolest things about our God really.

Of course the universe and the earth and all of those beautifully complex animals were really pretty awesome, and God seems to have enjoyed them quite a bit. You know that feeling you have when you are completely engrossed in doing what it is that you are made to do? You know, like the feeling musicians get when they are playing music, or that one that I’m sure carpenters get when they are working with wood, or the feeling computer programmers get while writing code. It’s that amazing feeling of beauty and worth that we all get when we are fulfilling what we were designed to do or be. It is home. I bet God felt something like that as he relaxed on that seventh day and just took a step back to admire all of the wonder he had created. Wow.

But something wasn’t right. I mean, everything was good, even awesome, but God knew things could be better. He had already invented physics and biology in all of their intricacies and complex yet beautiful workings, but there was something even greater than science that needed to happen.

And so he made something for him to love, and something that could love him in return.

Of course in order to experience real love there must be the possibility of your lover leaving you. It’s not possible to really love someone out of obligation. It’s something you have to choose to do, and something you have to be willing to let others choose or not choose.

So he made us, male and female out of the dust of the ground and he built a really beautiful garden for us to live in. It was a really nice place, probably one of the best gifts that have ever been given. It was a completely ideal situation for us, a location for us to live out our lives and our love for God and for each other, and a place where we had everything provided for us. It must have been pretty flattering to Adam and Eve, to get placed in this amazing dream of a place, because they hadn’t done anything to deserve it.

I can hardly imagine what an amazing relationship they had with their creator God. I’m sure they would chat all the time while strolling around in the garden in the cool of the day. That phrase by itself is very indicative to me of how wonderful this place was, because living in Austin, Texas I have rarely heard the words “cool” and “day” in the same sentence, except where the word “not” accompanied them. And of course Adam and Eve were naked all of the time, which means there was absolutely no insecurity or hiding behind cloth. Everyone just was who they were, and no one was worried about what anyone thought of them because everyone knew at a very deep personal level that they were beautiful bearers of the image of God. This was, of course, just how God wanted it – nobody was worried about what anybody thought of them because God by himself was enough for them.

Unfortunately this ideal setup didn’t last for very long. It is a very complex and meaty story about how it happened, and rightfully so entire books have been written dealing almost completely with the approximately half of a chapter of Biblical text which treats the actual events of the Fall. In a nutshell, a seed of doubt was planted in humanity’s brain. A question: “Does God really have my best interests in mind? Why does he get to be in charge of everything?” It is almost comical that the idea of wanting to “be my own god” is often thought of as such a new one. In fact it is the very root of our Original Sin.

So we chose to walk away and not trust God. We took a bite from a pretty delicious looking fruit, a direct act of rebellion against our benevolent creator God who had been so absolutely unrelentingly loving and caring and had provided for our every need so completely thus far. He had done nothing but shower us with gifts, but when given a choice between God and ourselves, we chose ourselves.

Then we figured out we were naked. I’m sure that to a degree we knew before that point that we were hanging around in our bare skin, but I would imagine the idea of clothes just had never occurred to us. And why should it have? It probably didn’t matter to us that we were naked, because in an absolutely perfect love relationship stuff like that just doesn’t matter since no one is concerned with how they are portrayed – they are only concerned with the well being of the one whom they love.

So we put on some fig leaves because we needed something to hide behind, and then God comes walking along through the garden in the cool of the day, and we have the nerve to hide from him. I guess it can be pretty easy to forget that God knows everything, and to think that we actually can successfully hide from him, but in this story it seems kind of ridiculous, since we had been pretty close to God up until this point and one might expect we should know him a bit better than that.

Then God speaks. “Where are you?” he says, I’m sure knowing full well the answer.

Then Adam answers back, “I heard you coming, and I was afraid because I was naked, and so I hid myself.”

Next come what are probably the saddest words in the whole Bible. God answers, “Who told you that you were naked?” I imagine God was pretty upset by the betrayal in this act. Apparently we had decided we didn’t need him anymore, which is a pretty big slap in the face to someone who had done nothing but love, protect and provide all of Adam and Eve’s lives. It was the most extreme of turning points, the day that we decided we would rather make our own way than take our God’s. It was pretty heart wrenching, I’m sure, from God’s perspective.

I relate a number of different songs to this feeling of lost love experienced by God in the betrayal of the fall. This is one of my favorites:

If you ever change your mind
About leaving, leaving me behind
Oh, bring it to me, bring your sweet lovin’
Bring it on home to me.

I’ll give you tulips and money too.
That ain’t all, that ain’t all I’ll do for you.
Bring it to me, bring your sweet lovin’
Bring it on home to me.

I tried to treat you right
But you stayed out, stayed out day and night
But I’ll forgive you
Bring it to me, bring your sweet lovin’
Bring it on home to me. (Sam Cooke, “Bring it on Home to Me” 1962)

Not unlike what Adam and Eve did to God, Sam Cooke is singing about some woman that used him for his stuff, cheated on him, and then left him all by himself. I really love thinking about this song in the context of the Fall, because I can really feel and relate to Sam Cooke’s pain as he continues, even after all she has put him through, to claim his love for her and beg her to come back, even promising to provide for her once again and forgive her completely for all of her wrongdoing. He really loves this girl unconditionally it seems, and God loves humanity in a way that is even deeper than that. "Bring it on Home to Me" is a song about redemption that is being freely offered to a former lover. Similarly, the entire Bible after this point in the story is a tale of continual cycles of redemption and betrayal, which is ultimately capped off by the redemption offered in the person of Jesus Christ.

He stands at the door and knocks, hoping that his former love will answer the door and let him back into their hearts, surrendering control of their lives while regaining his unfailing provision.

Sharing the Gospel

Woooo. Man I am wiped out. After an epic 6 page opening talk, man I realized I will be changing up my strategy for the rest of the week.

First of all, the talk went well. The Gospel went out tonight. It is up to God to bring those who are ready to Him. It was long, but it was detailed and good. So tonight was good, I just flat out don't want to talk that long tomorrow night. Though we'll see.

I'm going to throw open the gates to suggestions: I have 3 nights to talk left. What should I tell a bunch of high school kids. Kids who by the way look like their 8 and some look like they could play football for well maybe not Texas but perhaps A&M.

High school covers a large age group fyi. I'm going to talk about community I think. I'm also goign to hit up confession, but not do a whole talk on it. So I'm not sure where to go from here. Any ideas?

Anyone remember any cool stories to tell?

A few reasons why I like John the Baptist

“Now John himself had a garment of camel's hair and a leather belt around his waist; and his food was locusts and wild honey.” – Matthew 3:4

I’ve always really liked John the Baptist. He seems to have been a really great guy, and what an honor to be the prophet who gets to usher in the Messiah. I think if Sam was a prophet, he would be Sam the Baptist, because he is the kind of guy who would live in the woods wearing camel hair and eating bugs.

The New Deal

So, for all of you who arent already aware, today was my final day working as a software requirements analyst at Seilevel, Inc. I’m ok with all of that because I have felt led recently to pursue some form of full time vocational Christian Ministry. I think I resisted this at first because I felt like I was just following the crowd and I wasn’t really entirely sure if it was for me, but after spending eight weeks in Corporate America I feel like getting a “job” and working for “the man” probably doesn’t match up with my skills or my passions.

Seilevel was very kind and gracious in their goodbye, and made sure I was well aware that them not wanting to renew my contract had nothing to do with me, but much more to do with the fact that their sales have dipped pretty far below what they had budgeted for this year. I feel like this job was a gift from God, in that I was less than a month away from not being able to make rent before I got the job, and now my savings acount actually has savings in it and I should be able to easily transition to wherever I’m going next with little trouble. I also learned a lot about MS Office and being responsible and disciplined and how to better communicate in small and large group projects, something I didn’t have much of as a physics undergrad. It also gave me something to do in an era of my life where I needed to keep busy in order to keep my mind from dwelling on certain things, but instead was cursed with endless amounts of free time. And of course I now own a lot of clothes which you might call “business casual”. I like to call them “clothes-that-cause-the-ladies-to-lust”.

So, thus ends another chapter of Cabe’s life, hereafter referred to as “The Chapter in Which Cabe Had Money”. However depending on how my next plans pan out the money will likely not last for long. I have applied for admissions to Mars Hill Graduate School where I will be pursuing a Master of Divinity. I will post my admissions essays sometime this weekend. It’s going to be a pretty expensive three year program and I will probably be living in relative poverty for that period of time in Seattle, WA. This is a very exciting prospect for me for a number of reasons, one of which being the city of Seattle and its alleged similarities in personality to my beloved Austin, and of course the classes that I will be taking should be amazingly challenging and enlightening and stretching for me spiritually.

I’ve also applied for a number of jobs at churches, mostly in the Youth Ministry genre, currently with three officially in the pipeline (you can call them Houston, St. Louis and Berkeley). I think I would prefer to wait a year for seminary and do one of these if I can swing it.

Also with my newly found free time I plan on posting to the blog more often, reading books, being still and knowing that He is God, and going on a couple of road trips. I will at the very least be joining my hao pengyoumen (incorrect Chinese for “good friends”) Colin and Rene on a trip to Seattle for the first half of July, which I am quite stoked about. All in all I would say I am pretty optimistic and excited about this new direction, and I just ask that you pray that God will give me discernment on what to do in the coming months.

Witful Signage

I always really enjoy seeing the signs which Austin’s exceptionally clever homeless population likes to display on our roadsides while panhandling. I lived the first 18 years of my life in Houston, and I’ve never seen such brilliance.

Here are a few for your reading pleasure:

“Family killed by Ninja. Saving up for Karate lessons.” (2222 & Mopac)

“Why live in a $200,000 house when you can live under a $20,000,000 bridge?” (2222 & Mopac)

“Need a beer.” (Ben White & IH 35)

These are just a couple of my favorites from the last 4 years. I’ll post more as I see them, and feel free to post yours in the comments or wherever. I want to emphasize that these guys are almost always pretty cool people, and you all should make an effort to roll down your window on occasion at those highway intersections, if for no other reason than to ask them how they are doing and wish them a good day.

Forgiveness, Confession, Prayer

Quick support update. God is amazing. I haven't been able to work real hard this week on support because of planning these talks for next week. Doesn't matter. God is showing how faithful He is. I praise Him for how amazing He has been. I am at about 40% overall of my support goal. Praise God for His providence.

So onto my second talk. There's a few spots in the middle of this talk that I really hope some of you will take some time to think about and comment on. I'm not sure if I've got it all right when it comes to how this life of faith is hard, how our struggle against our sinful flesh and our desire for God is played out. If you only read part please read that part and let me know what you think.

I know I'm dumping a lot of content on here in rapid succession, but I'm speaking this next week, so I'm trying to get it on here as I finish it.

Here we go:

Tonight we’re going to hit a few topics. I really am enjoying these talks because in preparing them, they’ve allowed me to take everything I’ve learned from the past four years and process it and think it through.

First we’re going to talk about forgiveness from sin. In preparing this talk I realized I had a lot unconfused sin in my own life. That’s sort of disconcerting when you’re preparing to speak for God to you guys. But realizing it was good because two things happened. One I had to deal with some sin in my life. The other I realized that this week there is no one better then a recent college graduate and confessed sinner to speak to you today.

In a bit we’re going to have some time at the end to confess our sins before God. But I want to talk about why confession is so important. I’ve grown up Protestant, so I believe confession is direct with God. I would encourage anyone who feels confession must be through a priest to join with us tonight and then later tonight take the time to confess with your priest.

I’m not going to talk a lot about sin itself tonight because I don’t have much to say about sin, except it necessitates a lot of things in our relationship with God. Don’t get me wrong sin is devastating. It will always have consequences whether internal or external. So that to me begs the question of how do we deal with sin in our lives?

Well if Jesus came to die so that we could be forgiven, then if we have accepted Him as our Savior from sin then we never sin anymore correct? If anyone tells you that I would tell him he is a liar. 1 John 1:10 says “If we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and His Word has no place in our lives.” If we say that we don’t sin, or hypothetically if we stopped sinning on our own, we stop needing God. It just doesn’t work that way.

God has a process called sanctification which over our lifetime growth in faith, He through the Holy Spirit, and our dependence on Him, He will make us holy in our actions. But this is not of our own power. This is through our faith in Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. I’m saving the Holy Spirit for tomorrow, so you guys will have to come back.

So let’s go back to forgiveness. So we sin. Even though we have surrendered control of our lives to Christ, there is still sin in our life. This is probably one of the most frustrating parts of living the life of following Christ. Even the great Paul admits his frustrations here. In Romans 7:14-25 we have almost verbatim what every believer goes through in his or her mind at some point in their life.

“For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold into slavery under sin. I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. But in fact it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells in me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do what is good, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

Ok that’s really long, but my junior year in the fall I remember thinking along these lines. Asking God why in the world did I want to follow Him but not seem to actually be doing it? I remember distinctly thinking, isn’t this supposed to be easy? I don’t know where I got that. I’m going to be honest with you, it’s not easy. Jesus tells us it won’t be. We’ve picked the narrow gate, the narrow path that many people fall off of. It’s not advertised as easy. Jesus does say my yoke is easy and my burden is light, but we are also told me must die to ourselves, pick up our cross and follow Him. He also promises that the world will hate us.

Let me clarify a second. Living out God’s Plan for our lives will be rewarding, it will flow and we will be carried by the Holy Spirit, and it will never be harder than we can handle. What will be hard is the internal battle we will have with our selfish desires of the flesh and our desire to seek after God. I may have bitten off more then I can chew in here theologically. I don’t know how this part all works, remaining in God’s will, being free from sin and yet battling sin daily. All I can tell you is from my experience it will be hard. You’re going to need help, both from God and from others.

So let’s go back to forgiveness. Good news, if you’ve accepted Christ as your savior you are already forgiven. So why do we do confession? We’re already forgiven right? Yes, but similar to the gift of salvation, we must claim that forgiveness. Confession is essential to our relationship with God, because it is a humbling process that brings us to our knees before God. It acknowledges our dependence on Him. Bill Bright the founder of Campus Crusade for Christ describes confession as, “an expression of faith and an act of obedience, which results in God making real in your experience what He has already done for you through the death of His Son.”

A brief side note. The reason I refer to Bill Bright so much is that as part of my training for East Asia this summer I am reading several books he wrote on key points of our faith. They are essential and vital to living out our faith and growing closer to God. That’s why so much of what I am sharing I refer back to him.

When we don’t confess our sin, we are in effect hiding from God. Think back to when we were kids. We all did something bad, and inevitably our parents found out. Remember the times before you got punished, before your parents came and talked to you, but you knew they knew? It was terrible. When I grew up my parents will tell you our household had a devious character named “Bad Matthew” running around. I’ll tell you he was a scoundrel. If something got spilled or broken, it was a lot easier to tell my parents when Bad Matthew did it and not me. I didn’t know it, but my parents did, these were my first feeble attempts at confession.

Like any relationship unconfessed sin halts our relationship with God. Not because God stops loving us. No we are righteous in His sight. But from our end, how can we seek after God and abide in His love, when we are slinking around trying to avoid being caught, or walking on our tip toes afraid of doing something wrong.

Confession is a process of restoration. It involves (power point slide here!!!) agreeing that your sins are wrong and grieving to God. Sin is real and very serious. God is Holy and sin is repulsive to Him. You must view your sin as God does, repulsive and divisive. Then you can accept the forgiveness God has already given you through the death of His Son on the cross. This is part of our continuing faith in God’s promises. We must claim His promise of forgiveness so that we can be freed in our relationship with Him. The last part is perhaps the hardest part. Repent. Change your attitude which results in a change of thoughts and action. Here is where in the Holy Spirit, and really only in the power of the Holy Spirit we can change. If we truly repent and turn away from sin, God will help us and transform our lives.

Now confession isn’t a once a month thing, or a this regularly scheduled event. We need to confess each time we become aware of our sin. This involves asking God to make us aware of our sin so that we can confess it to Him.

The verses I want to leave you with for forgiveness and confession is in 1 John1:5- 2:2. I would encourage you all the read this tonight, but certainly during lunch tomorrow at your works sites. The other thing I want to say is that when you pray be honest. If this has completely confused you, sorry it confuses me at times. But if we approach God honestly seeking His guidance He will be faithful to us. He is good and loves us.

Let me say just a few things about prayer while we’re on the subject. I hope it’s been abundantly established how much God loves you. I encourage you to think of the impact you’re having on the people you’re serving by repairing or building their house. You are a part of God showing His love to that person. That blows my mind. You’re part of His living active plan for someone else’s relationship with God. I hope it impacts you heavily. Now try to realize that the same way God is using you to love these people, God has used countless other people in your life to communicate His love to you.

The God of the Universe loves you. Everything we’ve talked about so far has been so that He can have relationship with you. He wants you to love Him. Our love for Him manifests itself in many ways. Obedience, loving each other, serving others, all are ways we love Him. But in any relationship you must communicate. God speaks to us through His Word, the people He puts in our lives, and sometimes directly to us in a variety of ways.

Prayer is the direct means we have to communicate with the Father. It’s easy to take this for granted and not realize how mind blowing this is. It’s not just words but expressing your heart, your emotions, your thoughts to God.

I saw X-men 3 with one of my friends the other day, and we were talking about all the X-men’s. I don’t know how familiar you are with the movies, but Professor Xavier has the power to read minds. But he doesn’t without permission. God doesn’t need our permission to know what’s on our hearts, what is burdening us, but He waits for us to come to Him. Why? Because He loves and respects us. God is the perfect Father. He disciplines when necessary and helps when necessary. If God were to prevent us from messing up, making mistakes, it’s like an overprotective parent who never allows their child to grow up. That’s why prayer is so vital to our relationship with God, He wants us to come to Him.

So am I going to give you a how to on prayer? Not quite. I don’t think prayer should be formulaic or programmed. However, there are some things that help us understand the nature of prayer, and like any communication there are ways we can communicate more effectively and meaningfully.

In tomorrow’s conversation starters I’ll have several verses on prayer. For time I’m not going dive deeply into them tonight, but here are several keys to prayer:

Pray continually -1 Thess. 5:17

Watch and pray - Luke 21:36

Pray with thanksgiving –Philippians 4:6 and Colossians 4:2

Pray in the Spirit – 1 Corinthians 14:15

Always pray and not give up – Luke 18:1

Pray for those in authority – 1 Timothy 2:2

Pray for Boldness – Acts 4:29

If you don’t know how to pray, ask God. Approach Him humbly and honestly. There’s an acronym to help in praying, but don’t think you’re limited to praying like this.

A-adoration- Praise God for who He is and what He has done.

C-confession- bring your sins to God, accept His forgiveness and repent

T-thanksgiving- we have so much to be thankful for. Thank God for the ways He has blessed you.

S-supplication- is the time to ask God to meet your needs and the needs of other. He want us to ask for His help.

All that said, there is nothing wrong with a prayer that says “God help me!” or “God I need you now.” He will meet you where you are. But it is vital to our relationship to daily approach God in significant conversation.

Before we close let me say one last thing about prayer. Like everything we’ve talked about pray in faith. Believe and know that God hears you and is responding to you. It may not be how you want. You may get a no, He may answer on His own time. But you must pray expectantly. Don’t hold back. Remember Jesus said to Mary, “Did I not tell you? If you believe you will see the glory of God.”

Alright, this is the closing. I want to end on Romans 8:1, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” We must approach the Father in confession to grow in our relationship with God. There is an exercise I want to do with y’all. Like most things I got this from Bill Bright, but on the piece of paper each of you already have, we’re going to take some time, Jarrod’s going to play softly in the background, and confess.

Take some time to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you how you have sinned. As they come to mind list your sins. All of them. Don’t look at any one else’s and no one will look at yours. You can cover your paper if you want to. This is between you and God, and complete openness is very important. Maybe your sin doesn’t seem large, it just seems like you have small stuff. Ask the Spirit to reveal it all to you. Carrying 50 smaller rocks is just as paralyzing as one large boulder. If you feel like you have a sin that’s too big, put your fait in Christ’s death and resurrection. He has paid your penalty and defeated sin and death. You can and must trust that God will forgive you no matter what you’ve done. God promises us this. As each sin comes to mind lift it up in prayer and confess it, accept God’s forgiveness, and repent.

(1-2 minutes)

Now what we’ll do is write across the list God’s promise. It’s up here on the screen, from 1 John 1:9. Write it boldly across the entire page. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

Now destroy it. Those sins are dead. You are forgiven. I have a shredder up here. If you want you can just rip it up at your seat. Throw them away on your way out.

The last thing is to make restitution. If God reveals to you that you need to ask forgiveness from someone do it tonight. If they’re here pull them aside later when you get back to your churches and do it then. If they’re not here, call them or ask them to swing by the church. We cannot maintain a clear conscience before God if we have a guilty conscience before people.

You’re still going to struggle with sin. As soon as you get in your church vans to ride home, someone will annoy you, you’ll think bad thoughts, or something else will happen. It’s a constant process. But God is constantly forgiving and constantly loving. If you struggle with something consistently and we all will, grab your two or three closest friends and be open about it. If you’re one of the two or three friends, remember Romans 8:1, “There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.” You’re not there to condemn your friend, support, bear with them their burden. Help and encourage them. This road of faith is not supposed to be a lonely one. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.